FC Barcelona Jokes - Introduction
Hello and welcome to the funniest jokes about FC Barcelona that I could find.
I had a lot of fun reading and writing all of these Barcelona FC jokes and I hope you will have some laughs as well by the time you are done reading this funny Barcelona article.
Without any further introduction, I will start this FC Barcelona jokes article below...
Best Barcelona FC Jokes
Teacher and Student
In a class, the teacher is asking everyone what jobs their parents have and she comes to Jimmy next.
Teacher: And what does your dad do?
Jimmy: He’s a stripper in a gay bar and often lets other men touch his privates.
After class, Teacher takes Jimmy to one side.
Teacher: Is that true about your dad?
Jimmy: No, he plays for FC Barcelona but I was too embarrassed to say.
Best Barcelona Jokes
Barcelona Fan and a Genie
A Barcelona fan finds a magic lamp on the street.
After rubbing it excitedly, Genie comes out of the lamp.
“I am your magic Genie and I will grant you one wish.”
The Barcelona fan thinks carefully and responds.
“Look at this map, he points at the map towards the Middle East. I want this region of the world to finally live peacefully.”
The Genie replies “Are you kidding me? I can’t grant that wish! No way, that is impossible. You need to think of something else.”
“Okay” says the Barca fan “I want FC Barcelona to be as great as Real Madrid.”
The genie thinks for a minute.. looks back at the Barca fan and says “Alright, let me see that map again.”
Best Barcelona Jokes
Devil VS Heaven
Devil constantly challenged St Peter to a game of soccer, but St Peter refused, until one day while walking around heaven he discovered that quite a number of top international footballers had entered the ‘pearly gates’.
“I think I’ll arrange to play that soccer game,” said St Peter to the Devil. “We have a great number of International Soccer Stars in heaven at the moment from which to select a winning team.”
“You’ll lose, you’ll lose!” taunted the Devil. “What makes you so sure we’ll lose?” asked St Peter.
“Because,” laughed the Devil, “we have all the referees down here.”
Might as well say the same for FC Farcelona.
Best Barcelona Jokes
3 Football Fans
Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams.
The first one asks, “Oh Lord when will Tottenham stop buying the refs?”
God Replies, “In the next five years.”
“But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man.
The second one asks, “Oh Lord, when will Manchester United stop buying the refs?”
The Good Lord – answers, “In the next ten years.”
“But I’ll be dead by then,” says the man.
The third one asks, “Oh Lord when will Barcelona stop buying the refs?”.
God answers, “I’ll be dead by then!”
Best Jokes about Barcelona FC
Barcelona Trip
A psychiatrist on his rounds in a mental hospital sees a couple of patients behaving rather strangely.
The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud train noises “Chooo-Chooo… Whoooo-Whooooo…”
“What are you doing?” inquires the doctor. “I’m taking a train down to Barcelona,” replies the man.
The psychiatrist moves on to the next bed where he can see some very energetic activity going on underneath the covers. On pulling them back he finds a man totally naked face down into the mattress.
“And what are you doing?” asks the doctor, a little perplexed. “Well,” pants the man, “While he’s in Barcelona, I’m f*cking his wife!”
Funny Barcelona Jokes
Judgement Day
An FC Barcelona member of 60 years was dying and on his death bed he asks his wife for one last favor:
“Honey, please make me a Real Madrid member before I die”.
His wife in disbelief tells his poor husband:
“Are you crazy?! After being a Barcelona member for more than 60 years why do you want to become a member of Real Madrid?!”
And her husband answers: “I’d rather pay for my sins before Judgement Day arrives.”
Best Barcelona Jokes
Kid and Store Owner
A kid goes into a soccer store and asks the owner:
“I would like to buy an official FC Barcelona jersey. Do you have any?”
And the store owner replies:
“Which one? The team jersey or the referee’s jersey?”
Funny Barcelona Football Jokes
Bin Laden Hideout
Bin Laden has finally been found!
He was hiding in the FC Barcelona trophy cabinet.
He was reported as saying that it reminded him of the Afghan caves: cold, dark, empty and taken over by maggots.
Best Barcelona Soccer Jokes
Bin Laden Hideout
Q. What do Barcelona fans do when their team wins the league?
A. They turn off their PlayStation 3.
Q: Why did Joan Gaspart (a former FC Barcelona president between July 2000 and February 2003) want to marry the Duchess of Alba?
A: He wanted to have a ‘title’ badly.
Q: What has been the most positive aspect of the Barcelona team from 2000/2001?
A: Frank de Boer – He tested positive for nandrolone.
Q. What’s the difference between a Barca fan and a retarded 10 year old?
A. Nothing. The Siamese twins were separated at birth.
Q. What do you call a Barca fan with an IQ of 40?
A. Extremely gifted.
Best Barcelona Football Jokes
Mission Impossible
Act 1: Barcelona win the Champions League
Act 2: Barcelona win the Champions League
Act 3: Barcelona win the Champions League
What's the name of the play?
Mission Impossible
Best Barcelona Soccer Jokes
Funeral
A man is sitting on Camp Nou waiting for a game to start.
A man comes up to him and asks him: "Excuse me, is the empty seat next to you taken?"
"Well, not anymore, it was my wife's"
"Your wife didn't come to the game?"
"No, she died"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. But didn't any family member or friend wanted to take her place"
"Not really, they preferred to attend her funeral today"
Best Barcelona Jokes
Two Barcelona Fans
Two mad Barcelona fans were sitting frozen and feeling awful in the stands, complaining about the rain and severe fog that was making the game very boring to watch.
They decided to go and grab a bite of something warm to eat.
Just as they raised from their seats a policeman interrupted them.
“You two should go home now” he said “the game was abandoned about 30 minutes ago!”
There you have some of the funniest jokes about Barcelona FC that I could find.
I hope you had as much fun reading them as I did writing this article :D
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